Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The dark side takes an even darker turn...

When I find a book I love, I have issues putting it down. It's always been like that. Such was the case with Leonard Kinsey's follow up to The Dark Side of Disney, Our Kingdom of Dust. I'm a big fan of Leonard's first book and have been anxiously awaiting this release since he announced it. I downloaded the novel to my nook last night and finished it in less than 24 hours.

The story of a young man who flees to "The Most Magical Place on Earth" when he feels he has no where else to go, he turns to the place of his fondest childhood memories in hopes of solace only to discover things aren't quite as they seem or as he remembers. Our Kingdom of Dust is not your average Disney bedtime story and this certainly isn't precocious Tink's particular brand of Fairy Dust.

The cast of characters is portrayed by what I can only describe as twilight zone versions of some of The Walt Disney World Resort's most beloved and unsung heroes. It's a dark and twisted, and sometimes very humorous tale that any Disney fan with a darker side can appreciate on many different levels. Leonard brings back flashbacks of terror that many a Disney fan can relate to and pays tribute to the place that so many adore on a much more grown-up level.

This definitely isn't your typical fairy tale, but it's certainly an entertaining one.




Thursday, May 10, 2012

I don't know if this is the closure we were hoping for...


It breaks my heart to see Disney close down (or absolutely ruin ::coughfigmentcough::) an attraction that's been around for as long as I can remember. I have this horrible habit of going back and watching on ride videos from 20k, Horizons, and the like. The problem is that I start watching them and start to get really upset that they're gone and will only live on in my memory....and you tube. When I was starting to plot out this post earlier, I realized that it really had the potential to go all over the place. I'll save my thoughts on the closing of Snow White for the 31st when it actually takes it's last run. The post where I go all she hulk and rant and rave about what they've done to Journey into the Imagination will wait for a post of it's own as well.

Aside from the downfall of Figment, there are two other rides that REALLY upset me upon their closing. First, 20k leagues under the sea. The thing with 20k is that as a child, it completely blew my mind. That and the Tiki Room. When I think back on my first experiences in both, which I can actually remember quite well surprisingly, it strikes me as Disney magic at it's finest. The Tiki Room is still there and has thankfully been restored to it's former glory. Sadly I cannot say the same for 20k. Even after they had officially closed down the ride, I spent so long keeping my optimistic outlook that they'd find something equally amazing to do with the lagoon. The first time I walked into fantasyland and found the lagoon filled, I nearly cried. Any chance of anything resembling that magic was gone forever. To say I was ready to start spitting nails when I found out that DisneyLAND was going to be re-theming and reopening THEIR submarines a few years later is a gross understatement.

I know the Nemo ride there isn't the same and never will be the same. I know I'll never see that silly bastard of  a sea serphant's face ever again, but still. It pisses me off. They have SOMETHING left of it. What do we have? A stinking Nautilus carved into a tree at pooh corner. (WHICH I STILL CANT FIND BY THE WAY. DAMNIT.) This brings us to ride #2. The one who Pooh now occupies. The ones those aholes in California also still have access to.

Mr. Toad. Oh, Mr. Toad. May you rest in peace. I miss that ride something fierce. While I am, in fact, a fan of Winnie the Pooh, it's just not the same. I don't mind the Winnie the Pooh ride, I kind of like it. I think the effects are adorable. I get a kick out of the picture hung in Owl's office of Mr. Toad and Owl.

Mr. Toad was also Alexis' favorite ride. She once told me that she loved standing in line and watching the kids coming out crying because they'd just paid the little red guys with the pitchforks a visit at the end. Yes. We are those people. Now, Alexis has been boycotting Pooh for years. She refused to ride because it had taken the place of Mr. Toad. Somehow this past weekend, we convinced her to get on. Thankfully I had the good sense to whip out my camera.

Not all the language in this is particularly appropriate, so you've been warned. It's nothing AWFUL, but this is a Disney blog so I figured I should put up SOME sort of warning.





Sunday, May 6, 2012

I don't know if this is the kind of fun Walt had in mind when he envisioned epcot...

My favorite Disney partner-in-crime and I had made the decision a few weeks ago to spend Cinco de Mayo in Mexico. Well...the Mexican pavilion at Epcot, but that's close enough for us. We were joined by another friend and headed over to Magic Kingdom when it opened for some amazing tom foolery. (One of the highlights of our morning will be documented in another post later on.) Around 11, when The World Showcase opened, we hightailed it over to the margaritas.

I'm a big fan of frozen margaritas, always have been. That being said, my trips into La Cava del Tequila inside the Mexican Pavilion have not been numerous. I usually stick to the frozen concoctions they sell outside. This time, however, we were quite excited to try this Blood Orange Margarita we'd heard a lot about. Fabulous decision. We were told that Pepe would take care of us, and take care of us he did. Our other friend tried the passionfruit. It was also super tasty, but heavy on the sweet side. If you like sweet drinks, I definitely recommend it.

The line for El Rio del Tiempo was ridiculous and though this is usually a must do for us, we decided to bypass it for the time being. Margaritas in hand, we continued on our way through the World Showcase. Recently, Draven from DSOD referred to drinking around the world as a bit of a rite of passage. I have to agree. It's actually a rite of passage i've been participating in since I turned 21.

Now let me tell you...Adam and Eve had a snake and an apple. I have Epcot's World Showcase. There is so much variety and pretty much anything you get is amazing. I've been on this ridiculous diet and needless to say, it got shoved aside for the day so that I could partake and do Cinco de Mayo up right. We're nearing the point to this post and why Epcot is probably the most amazing and evil place in all of Disney.

We continued on to Germany where I've recently become a fan of their wine flight. After that, it was onto Italy where we sampled some Limoncello, and then I had the frozen Red Stag and lemonade in 'Merica. This is one of my favorites. They brought it in for the Food and Wine festival last year and decided to keep it around.

Soon enough, we were wandering into France. (If you haven't read my previous post, now would be the time.) We're about half way through our trek around the world and I'm feeling pretty happy at this point. I think that's a nice way to put it. So we start to walk by Chefs de France. In case you've never been there, the entire front of the restaurant is all windows, so while walking by you can see people dining inside. You can also see the waiters taking care of them. I felt the need to look for our new favorite waiter, Kevin. Okay so maybe this was a stalkerish move. I regret nothing. I was peeking inside, walking down the length of the building, trying to catch a glimpse of our favorite French waiter.

No such luck. We were about to cut our losses and move on to Vins de France for the glass of Moet someone had been craving for the last two weeks when we walked by the front entrance. There, in all of his glory, was French Kevin. (This is his new name, btw.) The next five minutes were spent bickering about why I couldn't walk in there alone and how someone had to come with me. Finally we all started to walk in together. I was about halfway up the walkway when I ran into the restaurant. I did not walk, I ran. As soon as I got inside, there was Kevin to greet me.

Fueled by my adventures in the World Showcase so far that day, I started to explain to French Kevin that he'd been our waiter for lunch a few weeks ago and that we'd thought he was awesome. He laughed and nodded. "Oh yes, I remember you, you were sitting over there." Stop the presses. He remembered us? I told you it was fate, Kevin. I knew this was something special. I KNEW YOU FELT IT TOO!

This was probably the highlight of everyone's day. It totally makes up for the fact that I'm a class act and dropped one of those "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" signs while giving my friends my personalized tour of the viking church in Norway. It even makes up for the fact that I got my bag completely soaked when I felt the need to go running through the small fountains that were clearly put there for the enjoyment of children under the age of ten. It was amazing.

We finished our trek around the world and color me shocked, ended up back in Mexico. Our grand total of rides in Epcot that day? Two. Maelstrom in Norway and Spaceship Earth, where I passed out mid ride. My nap would have been a lot more enjoyable if Judy Dench would have stopped yammering on in my ear. Our intentions had been to return back to the Magic Kingdom and close out the park, but injuries and disappointment in the "technical malfunctions" on POTC found us making our way out of the park immediately after dinner. SOMEONE forgot to say goodnight to George. Smooth move, guys.

I'm going to leave you with two things. One. Don't run through Norway wearing flip flops after drinking. You will likely end up hurt. SOMEONE on this trip learned this lesson the hard way. I'll give you a hint. It was not me.

Secondly. Go like French Kevin on Facebook. You can do so here. Yes. I went there.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Paris, je t'aime....

Dear Kevin,

I've convinced myself that what we had was special. I know, deep down, that what we shared was real. There may not have been any singing candlesticks or dancing flatware, but it was magic.

From the moment you introduced yourself, I knew that we were in for an extraordinary experience. Your smile, your accent, everything about you drew not only me, but everyone in.  You see, Kevin, these are the things that they write about in story books. Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet.....French Kevin and Table Number 7.

I don't care what they say, I know we had something genuine, something amazing. I know you wouldn't dare ever speak to another table the way you spoke to ours. And don't worry, Kevin. I know. I know that had you not had to work that evening, you would have gladly left with us to explore everything the world (showcase) has to offer. Romantic viking boat rides in Norway, dancing to the maricachi band in mexico....it would have been amazing. I know your heart is breaking as much as ours, but fear not, French Kevin. Fate (and seasonal passes) will bring us together again.

Fate and the lobster bisque. That ish was fantastic.